DAY 11 - self gratitude

 

Trying to be grateful in the moment when something goes “wrong” is the life time work of a parent. In that moment we can’t always see how or why we should be grateful for what has occurred. However if you can have the awareness in that moment to know that there is a bigger plan, that there is always a bigger plan then you will have mastered parenthood. 

An example if I may…

Today, yes today, my 10 year old son opened my car door with the force and enthusiasm that only a 10 year old boy has. If you haven't come across one before they are like Boxer puppies. They haven't quite got the co-ordination of limbs and energy sorted yet. They move before they think, knock items often and constantly trip and fall into things. 

Today our exuberant Boxer puppy opened my car door into… wait for it… I really need you to feel the pain here... the sheer horror of this situation...my husband's NEW, NEW, car. To give a bit more background, this car is his pride and joy, it is kept pristine. This is novel for our family as he isn’t a car person. This car however, lights him up.

I wasn’t in the garage when this happened. Upstairs doing the laundry I saw a very forlorn face emerge at the top of the stairs and promptly burst into tears. This beautiful, chaotic, mess informed me of what had happened. He knew he had to tell Dad. Painfully dad was on a phone call. The next 10 minutes seemed like hours to us both.

Dad got off the phone and I beckoned our very nervous, sad, tentative child. After stating what he had done I heard and saw pure L O V E. Dad said “Cars are just things, the first scratch was going to happen sometime, thank you for telling me, I love you, come here for a cuddle”. You could visibly see this dense, tight ball of unknowing energy dissipate with Mr 10’s out breath. 

This moment reinforced in our son that he is more important than any ‘thing’ we own.
This moment reinforced that he is always loved, no matter what.
This reinforced our family value of “above the line” behaviour.
This was a moment of father son bonding.

Now, I am absolutely 100% sure that when Dad saw this dent in his beloved car that he cursed under his breath. We were long gone by that stage! But the awareness, forgiveness and love hubby showed in that moment filled me with gratitude. Do we get it right all the time? Hell, no! But on this occasion I am grateful for that loving little indent in an otherwise immaculate vehicle because it opened up a healing moment in our little home.

It's easy for me to be grateful for things outside of myself, husband, home, the sun, bush walks, crystals...When I open the category of self gratitude however, thoughts become trickier. Self sabotage and negative self talk come in. I second guess myself and compare myself to others. When I strip all that away, when I ground myself, and lovingly look within I can feel the truth. Soon after starting it flows

  • I am grateful for my ability to see all sides 
  • I am grateful for my awareness
  • I am grateful for my deep roots and connection to Mother Gaia
  • I am grateful for my healing 5th dimension connection (even though i don’t fully understand it yet)
  • I am grateful for my healing abilities
  • I am grateful that I can hold space for women
  • I am grateful that I am being of service
  • I am grateful that I am creative
  • I am grateful for my past
  • I am grateful for my present 
  • I am grateful for my future

If you haven't done this before I highly recommend it. Last night as I went to sleep I breathed these thoughts in and out. Ending your day on a grateful note connects your heart and third eye chakras. This grateful state of mind as you go to sleep sets up your dream state, which in turn sets you up for the next day. So, even if you have a ‘bad’ day, you can reset but doing this very small simple exercise. Try it, tell me what you think. We can’t change what happens to us during our day but we have great influence on how we react and think throughout our day. In fact this is the only thing you actually have control over in your entire life.

Sweet dreams!

5 comments

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Karolina

I am grateful for my ability to care for and nurture others.

I am grateful for my open heart and curious mind.

I am grateful for my creative expression

I am grateful for the mistakes I have made.

I am grateful for the lessons I have learned.

I am grateful for my willingness to change.

I am grateful for my ability to show up for others.

I am grateful for doing ‘the work’.

I am grateful for the experience of motherhood.

I am grateful that I am able to see all perspectives at once. (even though this leaves me more confused at times!)

With gratitude,
Karolina xx

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