Love did not create this
For a long time now I have been trying to put my finder on G’s (10y/o) uniqueness. I love him wholly as he is and wouldn’t want him any other way, he is one of the greatest teachers of my life. Yet I have wondered why life seems to be so challenging for him when for others it flows.
Sometimes I blame myself for not being physically ready, detoxed and cleansed before I got pregnant. Maybe it was that I got chicken pox while he was in the womb, maybe I was a neglectful parent. Other times I think it is only me that sees this and to the rest of the world he is just like any other, I'm overthinking it.
Today I was in the health shop ready to try some natural remedies for focus when a lady directly asked me who it was for. She was totally tactless, bless her! In the past when people have made suggestions or even inclined there was an issue (I don't see it that way) I have cut them off, blocked them out and gone and hid under a rock.
Love did not create this (reaction/thought)
For his sake I need to be open to answers. As his parent and guardian I am also his protector and don’t want to change his essence, his creativeness, his curiosity, friendliness, cuddliness, and empathy (for everyone but his brother). Ha! He has his own life lessons to learn and I won't deprive him of that to make my own life easier.
I decided to hold myself and pivot. Hear this woman out. I’m not new to homeopathy. I use my own tinctures daily, but had never thought of it for the kids. Without even seeing G she described him to me, his skin colour, his night time habits, his need of company and much much more. She had my attention.
Instead of the large quantity of vitamins I was carrying and about to purchase I walked out with a small bottle. I've now done the research on her diagnosis and am going all in for the next 2 weeks to see what this super little bottle can do. The great thing about homeopathic treatments is that you don’t need to take them on going.
Had I not have had this affirmation rattling around in my head would I have stayed in the shop? What if I had not been welcoming of new perceptions? This would be the loving perception of all the other options that aren't the right fit. I choose to see love.
I feel I need to be clear on the meaning of love here. I'm not talking about romantic love. Instead I mean the opposite of fear. Staying in the fear of the unknown, alone, isolated. Not allowing light to touch on this.
I can now see that there must be many with this uniqueness. I have always seen G for who he is. I have tried to nurture him in the best possible way I can. At times this has been much criticized, from having him sleep in my bed as a newborn, not vaccinating, Montessori schooling and now homeschooling and long hair to name a few. Before G was born I knew I was going to do things differently to the norm around me. I wanted to raise children that would be independent, strong, empathic men. Real men, with loving open hearts, who are kind, honest and full of integrity. Gentle souls, deeply intuitive, connected beings.
I feel ready to let the light in on this topic for our home. I feel strong and loving towards it, not the dark murky way I did before. I need to stand firm in my way of raising the boys, trust that I am always guided and that “everything is as it should be” even with this.