DAY 5 - learning to forgive

Below are Gabbys exercises for day 5

 

List 5 ways I have projected fear onto myself.

  • I will never be as fit and healthy as I was this time last year
  • I will never be as good at being a home-schooling mum as the other trained mums
  • I will never be able to have the friend relationship with my mother I desire
  • I will never be able to speak confidently in front of a large audience
  • There's not enough time in the day to give everyone the love they need

This is feeling rather uncomfortable.

A letter to myself.

Dear Kate

You are holding onto fear that you have projected onto yourself. These projections are not real, they are things you have made up and chosen to believe and re-tell yourself over and over again. It is time to see these fears for what they truly are.

I will never be as fit and healthy as I was this time last year - I am willing to see this differently, I am willing to see love.

You can be as fit and healthy as you were last year and keep it next time, you have already started with 2 runs and a walk this week. All it takes is communication and to make it a priority. Also getting your hormones checked would be a great starting point. Find out someone to reach out to about this.

I will never be as good at being a home-schooling mum as the other trained mums - I am willing to see this differently, I am willing to see love.

Comparison-itis alert! Those mums all have teaching degrees and can speak teaching talk. You are a great homeschooling mum that loves her kids. Stop looking at the mums and look at your boys, are they happy? Are they learning everyday? Are they inspired? You have raised your children to be different, you can’t then expect them to be the norm. Ask these mums for guidance rather than shying away. Embrace beginner's mind.

I will never be able to have the friend relationship with my mother I desire - I am willing to see this differently, I am willing to see love.

Get honest with yourself here Kate. Do you really want a friend relationship with your mum? It's time to take a look at your part in the relationship. If you really wanted this then you need to answer when she calls, call her sometimes, go visit and communicate with her. Be an adult in the relationship, treat her with the respect you would a friend. You haven't even tried to have a friend relationship or any real relationship with your mum. It starts with you!

I will never be able to speak confidently in front of a large audience - I am willing to see this differently, I am willing to see love.

Some compassion is needed here. This has been a long process, but look how far you have come. Twelve years ago you couldn’t even speak in a group, now you can be part of a group, lead a circle, create and host workshops, and put daily videos of yourself on Instagram! In reality being able to speak confidently in front of a large group probably isn't that far away.

There isn’t enough time in the day to give everyone the love they need - I am willing to see this differently, I am willing to see love.

Kate, when you are in your most fluid, powerful, sacred feminine energy, love emanates from you wherever you go. People feel loved and cared for in your presence. By continuing to fill up your own bucket and habitually practice your morning rituals and Reiki this fear will dissipate. Turn all the time you spend on this fear into time you focus on bringing in more light and healing energy.

 

“There is no right or wrong behavior. The only meaningful choice is between love and fear” - Gerald Jampolsky

 

Focus on the love, not the fear and then at the end of the day you can say that you always acted in love. That would be a huge accomplishment. Give yourself the compassion you would give others, you are doing the best you can. In fact you are doing amazing because you continually invest in growing yourself, stepping out of your comfort zone and showing up for yourself and family everyday.

You've got this

Love and Gratitude
Kate

 

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